Hi! I have been avoiding relationships for six years. Been feeling completely resigned to spending my life alone, but decided if I don’t even try, I can’t give up. So I tried. I met someone. We had a lovely night. He ghosted me.
What to do? Making that monumental effort to connect with someone was so exhausting. I wasn’t prepared for the work of making plans, following through, waiting to see where it would go and then wrestling with the disappointment of “nowhere.” Would I have to start ALL OVER AGAIN every time? The answer, obviously, is yes. And it kind of reminded me of when I started seeing a personal trainer and lifting weights for the first time. It was so excruciatingly hard until I got into the habit of doing it over and over and over again. And it got slightly easier. Then it got fun. Could this approach work with dating?
Beginning in June, I vowed to go on two dates a week for 12 weeks. 24 dates. I’m not necessarily looking to find love, though it would be nice. I’m looking to learn to enjoy meeting people, to learn to like giving them a chance, to learn to appreciate folks for who they are and where they’re at. It’s giving-a-shit boot camp.
I told a co-worker about this resolution and he said, “That sounds fun.”
I said, “Not yet, but I hope to turn a corner soon.”
Please join me on my romance fitness journey. I will try not to drag my dates too hard, even if they’re bad, but offer whatever kernels of wisdom I can glean from the picked over field that is dating in New York.